This evening I finally felt ready for Christmas to come. Which is the first time in over a year that Christmas didn't feel like an obligatory event I had to attend. Don't get me wrong I like Christmas just haven't been in the mood. Here is what knocked me out of my rut. I heard a cover of Silent Night by MercyMe. It made me want to celebrate the Christmas. Normally when I hear a Christmas carol I change radio stations because I am not in the mood for them. This one changed my mood. Maybe it was because the song really felt like a celebration to me or maybe it is because I have seen so many acts of grace this holiday season that I cannot help but celebrate the birth of Jesus.
The holiday season is not about getting a bunch of new toys, or going skiing or not going to school or work for a few days. It is is a time where we recognize the blessings in our lives and doing what we can to bless others and let them know how special they are to us. This is the time where we surround ourselves with friends and family and enjoy each other. In doing so we are giving glory to God for what he has given us. Nobody should be alone during this season. As a community we should surround those who are away from family and become their family.
Finally Christmas is about the anticipation and the birth of Jesus Christ. This is an exciting time, it is something that was foretold and looked forward to by many people for a long time. We remember that time now. I forgot how exciting this time is and exciting this celebration is of the Christs' birth. Let us celebrate our savior by showing those around us, (those we know and don't know) the grace given to us by our God and savior.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
Isn't it nice to be looked after and cared for?
So I went for a hike the other day. As I was about home I noticed that I had a bunch of seed pods from a plant stuck on my jeans. My first thought was isn't that cool God created these seeds to stick on to things as they passed by so that they could spread and grow. Normally this is not my first thought however this day it was. Then I thought about how other plants spread their seed. Some rely on birds to drop it in flight, others rely on chipmunks and squirrels to bury the seed and forget about it. Then I thought I wonder if the creatures of the ground don't really forget where the seeds are but plant one or two and leave them be. If they really do forget then God really does have a sense of humor, setting up a system of reproduction that requires another to completely forget where they placed their dinner. Anywho I think that is funny.
Then I thought about how much I am provided for by my family, friends, my job, the strange things that just happen to work out for no good reason. And I remember Jesus telling me "Do not worry about your life." (Matthew 6:25) because God cares more for me than he does for the birds and the plants. And when I stop and think about it, and stop thinking the world owes me something because I exist I realize I am very blessed, we are all very blessed, we have just forgotten that we are.
God tried to teach the Israelites this after the exodus from Egypt when he told them to only gather enough manna for that day. When they did not listen the manna from the previously day went bad. However God provided for them, all they had to do is believe and have faith. Is the promise God has for us today any different? Why then do we think that if we don't make more money we wont eat the next day. Why do we think that simply because we exist that we are owed an allowance. God gives us everything we need and more as a gift of grace.
You are looked after. You are cared for. You have more than you know, and you have it not because you deserve it but because it is a gift of grace. How will you use your gifts? Will you let others know how much they are cared for? Will you pass on that gift of grace to others? Will you look after and care for those around you who are hurting and just want a hug? You are covered by grace whether you realize it or not, so let others know that they are covered in grace too. How? That is up to you.
Then I thought about how much I am provided for by my family, friends, my job, the strange things that just happen to work out for no good reason. And I remember Jesus telling me "Do not worry about your life." (Matthew 6:25) because God cares more for me than he does for the birds and the plants. And when I stop and think about it, and stop thinking the world owes me something because I exist I realize I am very blessed, we are all very blessed, we have just forgotten that we are.
God tried to teach the Israelites this after the exodus from Egypt when he told them to only gather enough manna for that day. When they did not listen the manna from the previously day went bad. However God provided for them, all they had to do is believe and have faith. Is the promise God has for us today any different? Why then do we think that if we don't make more money we wont eat the next day. Why do we think that simply because we exist that we are owed an allowance. God gives us everything we need and more as a gift of grace.
You are looked after. You are cared for. You have more than you know, and you have it not because you deserve it but because it is a gift of grace. How will you use your gifts? Will you let others know how much they are cared for? Will you pass on that gift of grace to others? Will you look after and care for those around you who are hurting and just want a hug? You are covered by grace whether you realize it or not, so let others know that they are covered in grace too. How? That is up to you.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Sometimes it feels like a grind...
I'm talking about life. Sometimes life is a grind, we get up, we go to work, or school or both, we come home, we go to bed and we do it all again the next day. I heard a very profound saying the other day, "sometimes success can be just showing up the next day."
There are days we don't think we can go on. We are bored, we don't see a reason to do the same thing day after day until we are exhausted and beaten down to the point where we don't care anymore. Sometimes life is great, sometimes life is not so great but we must endure. Why? We must endure because as Christians we have another task, to spread God's love to all people.
Last year during Lnt I tried to fast during the day. It was going well until I felt like there was no point in continuing the fast because I was not growing spiritually, or so I thought, so I quit the fast. However looking on that experience now I see I was missing forgetting something very important. Sometimes spiritual growth is a grind. There are times we don't see the growth, we think we are not moving, but in fact we are moving, just maybe not in the direction we thought we would move.
If there is one thing I have learned since that experience is that there is a discipline required to live life. This discipline is what makes us show up on that day when we feel like there is no point. When we don't think something is working but we have committed to it we stick with it because of discipline. Being a Christian is a discipline and a commitment, are we fulfilling our commitment? Are we practicing our discipline? Or are we taking the easy way out when things get tough, or when we don't understand why we are doing something.
Submission is a discipline and it is humiliating but it is necessary and comforting because we gain a sort of protection from our master. We are given gifts and all our needs are cared for, all we have to do is have faith that we are loved by a completely loving God.
So I ask you, will you show up tomorrow? Will you show up when it all feels empty and routine? And will you be there when that time comes for you to do the job only you can do? You cannot be there if you don't get out of bed, if you don't ask God for strength when you feel that you cannot go it alone that day. All you have to do is be there and God will be there too, and He will use you when you least expect it. Just you wait and see.
There are days we don't think we can go on. We are bored, we don't see a reason to do the same thing day after day until we are exhausted and beaten down to the point where we don't care anymore. Sometimes life is great, sometimes life is not so great but we must endure. Why? We must endure because as Christians we have another task, to spread God's love to all people.
Last year during Lnt I tried to fast during the day. It was going well until I felt like there was no point in continuing the fast because I was not growing spiritually, or so I thought, so I quit the fast. However looking on that experience now I see I was missing forgetting something very important. Sometimes spiritual growth is a grind. There are times we don't see the growth, we think we are not moving, but in fact we are moving, just maybe not in the direction we thought we would move.
If there is one thing I have learned since that experience is that there is a discipline required to live life. This discipline is what makes us show up on that day when we feel like there is no point. When we don't think something is working but we have committed to it we stick with it because of discipline. Being a Christian is a discipline and a commitment, are we fulfilling our commitment? Are we practicing our discipline? Or are we taking the easy way out when things get tough, or when we don't understand why we are doing something.
Submission is a discipline and it is humiliating but it is necessary and comforting because we gain a sort of protection from our master. We are given gifts and all our needs are cared for, all we have to do is have faith that we are loved by a completely loving God.
So I ask you, will you show up tomorrow? Will you show up when it all feels empty and routine? And will you be there when that time comes for you to do the job only you can do? You cannot be there if you don't get out of bed, if you don't ask God for strength when you feel that you cannot go it alone that day. All you have to do is be there and God will be there too, and He will use you when you least expect it. Just you wait and see.
Monday, November 26, 2007
More about blogs
I constantly find myself in pursuit. This evening I have been in pursuit of keeping my self from being bored. I happened to stumble across this show called Quarterlife. You can see it on youtube or go to www.quarterlife.com. This show is about this group of people in their early 20's, and one girl blogs about their happenings. What she blogs about is true, though her insights into her friends life are revealing about the private actions they think nobody knows.
These people find out and at first they are upset, but then once the truth is known and out in the open they are liberated. The ironic thing is that she is unable to be honest about her feelings on her blog, where she reveals her friends' secrets. She is finally about to tell the truth, then something happens and turns her world upside down and she can't be honest to the world.
Isn't this completely true in our own lives? We can see the truth in others so easily but our own truth is so vulnerable that it takes a heroically strong person to share it. When it is revealed we are shocked, hurt, upset, and confused. Why? Because somebody figured out what we dare not tell anybody.
We constantly forget that God has given us people to lean on, God even says, "It is not good for man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18) Why then do we isolate ourselves. There is relief in leaning on others, we break so easily on our own but "a cord of three strands is not easily broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:12) I'm at fault here as much as anybody but we have grace and I am ever thankful for that.
I think that blogs are a way for people to reach out and share the truth in an impersonal way. We reach out but we don't want to get hurt. We take solice in knowing that we aren't the only ones who know our deepest and darkest secrets, we just don't want anybody to know that those secrets are ours. The thing is though is that God has given us this amazing ability to help each other and fix each other, but when we don't let people know what is going on we can't help. I can't count the amount of times that I have told a person, if you had told me something would have changed or happened or soemthing... but I'm not a mind reader.
Talk. Talk to your friends, talk to your parents, talk to your siblings. Do not be afraid to share your secrets, your problems, and your troubles because you may just find out that you are not alone in your strife but that there are others standing right next to you on the battle field willing to fight along side you. All you have to do is let them know you are there.
These people find out and at first they are upset, but then once the truth is known and out in the open they are liberated. The ironic thing is that she is unable to be honest about her feelings on her blog, where she reveals her friends' secrets. She is finally about to tell the truth, then something happens and turns her world upside down and she can't be honest to the world.
Isn't this completely true in our own lives? We can see the truth in others so easily but our own truth is so vulnerable that it takes a heroically strong person to share it. When it is revealed we are shocked, hurt, upset, and confused. Why? Because somebody figured out what we dare not tell anybody.
We constantly forget that God has given us people to lean on, God even says, "It is not good for man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18) Why then do we isolate ourselves. There is relief in leaning on others, we break so easily on our own but "a cord of three strands is not easily broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:12) I'm at fault here as much as anybody but we have grace and I am ever thankful for that.
I think that blogs are a way for people to reach out and share the truth in an impersonal way. We reach out but we don't want to get hurt. We take solice in knowing that we aren't the only ones who know our deepest and darkest secrets, we just don't want anybody to know that those secrets are ours. The thing is though is that God has given us this amazing ability to help each other and fix each other, but when we don't let people know what is going on we can't help. I can't count the amount of times that I have told a person, if you had told me something would have changed or happened or soemthing... but I'm not a mind reader.
Talk. Talk to your friends, talk to your parents, talk to your siblings. Do not be afraid to share your secrets, your problems, and your troubles because you may just find out that you are not alone in your strife but that there are others standing right next to you on the battle field willing to fight along side you. All you have to do is let them know you are there.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
You dont have to live like this
I saw Rob Bell speak last night in San Antonio. It was a really good speech. Rob Bell talked about the sacrifices we make. False Gods demand our sacrifices to keep them happy, or is it that we as humans only understand a broken system of sacrifice in a feeble attempt to control the elements around us and draw favor from the Gods. Ultimately we have to keep sacrificing to these Gods because we never know where we stand with them.
Jesus is different, Jesus says, "you don't have to live like this." Jesus says, "I don't remember the last sin you committed." Jesus says, "I'm not ashamed of you." Jesus says, "I love you no matter what." Jesus gives us something new, complete forgiveness. He could keep track of our sins, have a big long list that we have to atone for when we die, but who wants to be in a relationship where every time you mess up it is written down and remembered. I don't, instead I want a relationship where I'm forgiven no matter what I do because my God wants a relationship with my that badly. That is my God. My God says stop killing yourself for me and live for me.
That is Jesus, he tells us to come to him broken and burdened and he will take those burdens away, all we have to do is let go. Stop sacrificing your life to your burdens and let your life, the way you live, and the joy in your heart be your celebration that you know where you stand in your relationship to God, you are special and loved and blessed. Not because of our own actions but because Christ said, "You don't have to live like this."
Amen
Jesus is different, Jesus says, "you don't have to live like this." Jesus says, "I don't remember the last sin you committed." Jesus says, "I'm not ashamed of you." Jesus says, "I love you no matter what." Jesus gives us something new, complete forgiveness. He could keep track of our sins, have a big long list that we have to atone for when we die, but who wants to be in a relationship where every time you mess up it is written down and remembered. I don't, instead I want a relationship where I'm forgiven no matter what I do because my God wants a relationship with my that badly. That is my God. My God says stop killing yourself for me and live for me.
That is Jesus, he tells us to come to him broken and burdened and he will take those burdens away, all we have to do is let go. Stop sacrificing your life to your burdens and let your life, the way you live, and the joy in your heart be your celebration that you know where you stand in your relationship to God, you are special and loved and blessed. Not because of our own actions but because Christ said, "You don't have to live like this."
Amen
Why it is so hard for me to blog
Ok so as we all know blogging puts a person's life into the public domain where everybody can read it. Public things are common knowledge however it is the tendency to write about private things, things that should only be known by a few become known by many. For some this is fine, for others like myself this can spell catastrophe. Going into full time church work my life will be examined by countless numbers of people, everything I do will be weighed and judged by others. Some looking for ways to praise and others looking to destroy.
For me I must keep my private life private at all costs. There are those who expect me to be perfect in light of me being a sinner just like everybody else because I will be a leader in the church. Therefore it is important for me to not share the entirety of my life with the world. It's a sad truth but the private portion of my life is much more interesting than the public part of my life. And that will be something that is between me and one or two trusted individuals.
For me I must keep my private life private at all costs. There are those who expect me to be perfect in light of me being a sinner just like everybody else because I will be a leader in the church. Therefore it is important for me to not share the entirety of my life with the world. It's a sad truth but the private portion of my life is much more interesting than the public part of my life. And that will be something that is between me and one or two trusted individuals.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Back to School and Back to Life
So I'm a month in to school, and life is pretty good. I've started practicum, I still have a job, I have made some great new friends and I have an apartment. I have definitely seen spiritual growth in my since this summer. I have seen how I like to put parts of God in a box and then expect that my box is the only correct way. I now see that I am so human that I must stop being so arrogant to think that I have the only correct way to do things.
This year I am trying to broaden my horizons by going to different church services once in a while to see how others praise God and worship Him. I have not been able to make good on that goal yet due to practicum but I have not forgotten my goal.
Practicum is another beast altogether. I have been placed with 5th and 6th graders, that is not really my passion but I am beginning to love their enthusiasm for life and God. It is invigorating even if it is tiring. I really hope to grow and learn more about my self and style of teaching and reaching out to others that I may not think I am best equipped to reach out to.
I have also seen my confidence grow since last year, I feel like I am much more intense than I was before, and that my opinions are more formed and thought out. Sometimes I think my confidence is bordering on arrogance and I am doing my best to submit before Yahweh to curb that extreme.
As for girls. As a man I have found that I am in constant pursuit. Doors open and doors close. As of right now I have found a beautiful woman that I like and desperately want to like me back, but patience seems to be the key now, along with prayer and guidance from friends.
I have found lately that I miss Joel, and the intensity that he exudes for God and study of the Word and life. I miss being pushed beyond the obvious and being guided by somebody who is passionate and who understands that the small things in life are not to be overlooked but studied. I miss my friend.
This year I am trying to broaden my horizons by going to different church services once in a while to see how others praise God and worship Him. I have not been able to make good on that goal yet due to practicum but I have not forgotten my goal.
Practicum is another beast altogether. I have been placed with 5th and 6th graders, that is not really my passion but I am beginning to love their enthusiasm for life and God. It is invigorating even if it is tiring. I really hope to grow and learn more about my self and style of teaching and reaching out to others that I may not think I am best equipped to reach out to.
I have also seen my confidence grow since last year, I feel like I am much more intense than I was before, and that my opinions are more formed and thought out. Sometimes I think my confidence is bordering on arrogance and I am doing my best to submit before Yahweh to curb that extreme.
As for girls. As a man I have found that I am in constant pursuit. Doors open and doors close. As of right now I have found a beautiful woman that I like and desperately want to like me back, but patience seems to be the key now, along with prayer and guidance from friends.
I have found lately that I miss Joel, and the intensity that he exudes for God and study of the Word and life. I miss being pushed beyond the obvious and being guided by somebody who is passionate and who understands that the small things in life are not to be overlooked but studied. I miss my friend.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Last two weeks of camp
Well I'm on my last two weeks of camp here and I'm excited. I don't have a cabin but that is fine because I get to do many other things here at camp that I can't do with a cabin. It is more my style. I was in a great mood today, I'm convinced it was a God thing because I woke up in the morning upset that it was raining... again. I had a little talk with God first thing and after that I was joyful for the rest of the day. Now though I am frustrated. I seem to have lost touch with some friends I had at the beginning of camp in turn I have made some new ones. It makes me sad that I cannot keep up all of my relationships here at camp. However that is the way camp goes. Not enough time for everything. I have completely lost touch with my friend who brought me here and I don't know if she wants to fix our relationship. I want to talk to her and have told her that but it is up to her when of if we talk. It is up to me not to dwell on the negative and to focus on the positive and feed on the joy that God has given me in Christ. I owe this life to the LORD and I should start acting accordingly, praising His name for each breath of life I am given. I need to work on being a servant again and giving myself for the benefit of others to show them Christ's love. LORD please work through me these last two weeks. Amen
Saturday, July 7, 2007
So I've been thinking
So I've been thinking well it was just a passing thought that has kinda stuck in the back of my mind today. That is that I might want to go to Seminary to become a pastor. I gave the message for the Sunday Service we have at camp and I think it came out good and I think people got something from it. It was fun working up a message and then delivering it. Also the knowledge I would gain at Seminary, the understanding of the original Greek and Hebrew would be awesome. I think that we forget about how some of the meaning remains hidden in a translation and how limited certain words are in our language. Anywho I feel like God is teaching me to lead and I don't know where this will lead. God will give me strength.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Camp Part 1
Ok so a lot has happened since I last posted. First I am not teaching at all what I planned to teach. I was made the head life guard with my friend Chelsea. This camp is amazing and has a lot of potential. The main reason that I chose to come to this camp was to focus the camp more on Christ than it seemed to be last summer. That is totally happening. I am seeing God working in this aspect every day. Also God is giving me the chance at leadership in many aspects of Christian life that this camp is now striving to incorporate into its program. AWESOME. Lonehollow definitely has its eyes on Christ right now. Anywho so I have grown and learned a lot about myself too. I have almost left this camp three times because I felt so spiritually dead. Not so much now because of the change in focus from the last week. Christ is no longer a tag line here. I have not been to church in the formal sense of the word since I have been here and I have had to learn to feed myself spiritually. It has not been easy but I have come out of it stronger.
I have seen this last few weeks how my schooling has prepared me for this summer and its application to the real world. Also I have defined and refined my idea of the ideal leader, the main characteristic is servitude which encompasses humility, love, commitment, and pride. After I had figured this out was when God saw it fit to put more leadership responsibilities on me. I have done my best to serve but it doesn't feel like enough. I have learned patience and tact also, though these are still things that I am working on but I am getting better.
Also I see how I have been prepared so much for this camp from last summer. You could not keep me away from Lone Star last summer and this summer it has almost been the exact opposite. However the many things I learned, songs, bible studies, fellowship, stewardship, and so on has allowed me to bring some of those things here and incorporate them here at Lonehollow. Chelsea and I were talking the other week and about my struggles and how we think that God is preparing me for a hard internship. I hope that I have learned enough to be able to rely on Him fully once things feel impossible.
I have seen this last few weeks how my schooling has prepared me for this summer and its application to the real world. Also I have defined and refined my idea of the ideal leader, the main characteristic is servitude which encompasses humility, love, commitment, and pride. After I had figured this out was when God saw it fit to put more leadership responsibilities on me. I have done my best to serve but it doesn't feel like enough. I have learned patience and tact also, though these are still things that I am working on but I am getting better.
Also I see how I have been prepared so much for this camp from last summer. You could not keep me away from Lone Star last summer and this summer it has almost been the exact opposite. However the many things I learned, songs, bible studies, fellowship, stewardship, and so on has allowed me to bring some of those things here and incorporate them here at Lonehollow. Chelsea and I were talking the other week and about my struggles and how we think that God is preparing me for a hard internship. I hope that I have learned enough to be able to rely on Him fully once things feel impossible.
Monday, May 21, 2007
I think I'm finally starting to get it...
So today I am completely exhausted and I'm coming from a long week of life. Anywho tonight on my drive home I realized something, in Philippians 4:13 it says "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" I have used this as a mantra when I get scared but I'm psyching myself up to do something. I thought of it in the terms of ok Jesus give me strength you just haven't given me enough yet for me to do this task. I need just a little bit more. Well I've come into a new way of thinking. My prayer has become Jesus help me realize that you have given me the strength to do this already and let me abide in your strength.
It's not that I didn't have the strength before and then miraculously I had it a second later, but I had it all the time but I was only relying on myself to get the job done and Jesus is only there to give me that extra little help when I need it. However this is sooo wrong and I finally understand that, Jesus is there the entire time giving us strength and doing the whole job with us. Every struggle, every hardship, everything we do easy or hard, fun or tedious Jesus is there and all we have to do is abide in him and life is so much easier and not scary. In fact (in the word if one of my professors) its joyful.
Seriously realize not that you need more strength or help but accept the help that is freely given to you because as Jesus says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" And that is the awesome power of Jesus. Rejoice in your weakness because it is Christ's strength is being made known through you.
It's not that I didn't have the strength before and then miraculously I had it a second later, but I had it all the time but I was only relying on myself to get the job done and Jesus is only there to give me that extra little help when I need it. However this is sooo wrong and I finally understand that, Jesus is there the entire time giving us strength and doing the whole job with us. Every struggle, every hardship, everything we do easy or hard, fun or tedious Jesus is there and all we have to do is abide in him and life is so much easier and not scary. In fact (in the word if one of my professors) its joyful.
Seriously realize not that you need more strength or help but accept the help that is freely given to you because as Jesus says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" And that is the awesome power of Jesus. Rejoice in your weakness because it is Christ's strength is being made known through you.
Explanation of the title of this blog
Driven to the cross... What does that mean. My first reason is that God drives my life and God drives me to the cross where Jesus died because there I find my salvation. Jesus Christ died for my sins and secured my salvation, I believe this and all I must do is accept this gift and believe. Also as I was thinking about this title I realized that Christ was driven to the cross too, in his journey and literally. It reminds me that my salvation was paid for at a price greater that I can imagine and it was not an accident that I was saved but a masterful and beautiful plan derived from God's unconditional and unending love for me and his creation. All of this is to remind me of the love that God has for me and for everybody. I should be driven to the cross and remember that through all that pain there was love and that is a love that drives me to bow humbly before the cross and worship a God who just wants a relationship with me. Driven... to my knees, to love, and to the cross.
This is what this blog is about
Ok I am Andy Warner and I am creating this blog for a few reasons. First is to let everybody know about my adventures in this thing called life. Next I'll share thoughts and ideas that come to me through out my keeping this blog. Finally I'll keep everybody posted about where I am and go (if I keep at this blog long enough)
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